Bittersweet Partings
by Icy Blossom
Summary: Chapter 4's up everyone...Michiru sorts out her feelings...please read and review='-'=
1. Chapter 1

Bittersweet Partings.  
  
By: Icy Blossom  
  
Author's notes:  
  
*waves* Hiya everyone.  
  
This is my first attempt at a Sailor Moon fanfic. so please be nice as I'm not very good at this. I wish I could say that I owned Sailor Moon but the usual disclaimers apply. please don't sue me. this is only writing that I do for fun. I guess this is about it, enjoy the fic and please.please send me reviews.  
  
*waves* Cyaz  
  
Icy Blossom  
  
  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
It's been almost four days.or what seemed to me like an eternity since you told me the truth.  
  
Your voice that always made me feel better, was as gentle and as calm as always when your words hit me like an icy tidal wave that brought everything to a halt and shattered the world around me.  
  
I never thought we'd ever part after all that we'd been through together.you have always been right by my side and we've always taken every step along the way together.  
  
Because of each other, we've had so many heartaches, bittersweet memories and treasured moments. How does being together for the most important and treasured times of our lives make it possible for us to ever be separated?  
  
Michiru.you are my angel, the miracle in my life. I don't know how my existence was possible before we met and I don't know how I'm supposed to get through the days to come without you there. guiding me every step along the way.  
  
Everything that I've tried to do to keep us together had failed. I still remember how I used to always interrupt you when you were supposedly indulging in your own world, I always did this to keep myself away from the fear that you may leave me behind. leave me all alone.  
  
Your words from four days ago.  
  
I can still hear them now. ringing continuously in my mind. It will probably stay there, echoing until the day death relieves me. Strangers will probably laugh at me after knowing all this and congratulate me on being the wonderful drama queen.  
  
You should know Michiru. for you know that I only speak the truths to you. You'll always be the only person who understands me. Before you appeared in my world, I had a grudge against the whole universe. I used to think that everyone and everything hated me.  
  
That was until you came along. and taught me so many wonderful things. I never came to know or enjoy so many details in life. you changed everything. Now come to think of it, you entered my life, turned it upside down and made living worthwhile.  
  
How I wish you were here with me. sharing my thoughts right now. I wish I could tell you all that's been on my mind, from the moments we first met to four days ago. when the words from the one I loved most destroyed my whole world.  
  
To be continued.  
  
  
  
AN: Was that okay? Neways hopefully it was. now that you've read this, please review and tell me ways that I can make my story better. I'll try to update as soon as possible, so please send lots of reviews. 


	2. Chapter 2

Bittersweet Partings.  
  
By: Icy Blossom  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Konichiwa mina! First of all I'd just like to apologize for such a late update, I've just finished two and a half weeks of yearly exams so this will be quite a short chapter. I will try to do quick updates in future as I will have quite a lot of spare time. By the way in case you haven't noticed already..chapter one was told in Haruka's POV and this chapter is told in Michiru's. Enjoy the chapter and please remember to review..  
  
Ja ne..  
  
Icy Blossom  
  
  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
I think I'm in love..I think I've found the guy of my dreams, there is just one little problem..every time I see a mental image of him in my mind, he is always replaced..  
  
Replaced by the same pair of the most soulful eyes that I've ever seen in my life. They usually sparkle with spirit and radiated warmth and energy to me, but that's all changed since I told her..  
  
"Haruka.." my voice rang in my head as I remembered the events of that day.  
  
"We're not really meant to be..let's move on shall we?" I said.  
  
"..um..Michiru." was all she managed to say before.  
  
"We'll both be happier that way.." I replied.  
  
"What did I do wrong?" she said, "I'll try make up for whatever that I've done wrong..just please tell me what it is."  
  
"Nothing.." was my reply, "it's just that this decision will make both our lives much happier.."  
  
I didn't expect her to take all of this in a calm manner but her reactions really stunned me, she froze on the spot and her eyes were glued on the ground. When she finally looked up and met my gaze a little while later, I immediately regretted my words..  
  
Before I even had a chance to say anything else, she ran off and left me alone in the hallway..  
  
I looked down the silent hallway and silently begged Haruka to come back, smile at me and walk me to class..  
  
I don't know how long I stood in there but I finally returned to reality when Tokiya came a while after the departure of Haruka. I felt a little better for a while as he held my hand and led me to our classroom but as soon as I entered I felt my heart shatter as I saw Haruka with her head down on the table..it was so painful, I felt like running straight outdoors but the teacher entered so I was forced to go to my seat.  
  
As I sat there I came to a realization..I was losing her..she is mad at me and she'll probably never talk to me again..  
  
I blocked out the horrible thought and part of myself reasoned that the thought was unbelievable as Haruka had always understood me best.  
  
She is my best friend, I thought..but as I continued to replay that phrase I realized something else..  
  
Best friend? Are we just that? Those two words could never describe the relationship between the two of us. Haruka..she is the most important person in my life, she is the one who's always been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, the one who drives me to school and keeps me company, the one who brightens up my day and most importantly..  
  
She had given up her own life to save me in numerous occasions and I knew that I would do the very same thing for her..  
  
How can I call her my best friend..Haruka..she is my partner..  
  
After all these thoughts, the belief that I've found my dream guy was not of any importance to me all of a sudden. All I wanted to do at that moment was to go to Haruka and tell her that I'm extremely sorry for saying the things that I've said to her early that morning. I so desperately wanted to see her smile and hear her voice as she spoke gently to me like she always did.  
  
All through out the lesson there was just one thing on my mind..I really hope that I will not be too late when I tell you just exactly what's been on my mind..  
  
Haruka..you of all people should know just how much you mean to me.  
  
To be continued.  
  
  
  
AN: I hope that you liked that. Please tell me how I can make it better and send as many reviews as possible. Thanks for reading and I'll try to update as soon as possible. 


	3. Chapter 3

Bittersweet Partings.  
  
By: Icy Blossom  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Hiyaz mina! Before I blab on about disclaimers and such I'd really like to thank Sailormoonjoy, natalieo1990 and Haruka_bc, your reviews really meant a lot to me and I'm dedicating this chapter to you guys..thanks again.. =^-^= Now..the usual disclaimers apply and I'd just like to remind you that this chapter is in Haruka's POV..that's about all I think. I guess I'll see you all next time.. Ja ne..and please review!!!  
  
Icy Blossom  
  
  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
Escaping the harsh reality..that's a nice way of writing it down in my diary.. But the truths? Well..I ran away..both from the heartbreaking reality and from the one that I've loved from the longest time. How I wished I had stayed instead and told her just how I felt about things when she told me then and there..but..  
  
The only thing that crossed my mind at that moment was to run, run away where I just might escape reality and seek protection in solitude.  
  
How can I make my intentions clearer and show just how much I care? I've done so much thinking yet I still haven't managed to find a close to perfect answer.  
  
I care so much about her and yes..I know that she cares for me too and that I should try to be more considerate to the feelings of others but these emotions are overwhelming me. I've done so much thinking lately, but the answer just refuses to come to me..  
  
Am I really not good enough for Michiru.. I know that she's both talented and beautiful but am I really not good enough? Really? Just what does that Tokiya have that I do not? I've given so much thought to that and yet..  
  
Suddenly the answer appeared clearly before me and I realized..as the awful truths hits me once again, like an icy blast of wind..  
  
Tokiya..he was a real guy..  
  
That was something that I could never change and there is nothing that I can do to compare with that..there was only one thing that I could do to change that but knowing Michiru, she would be disgusted if I carry through with it.  
  
Michiru, do you know how much I've wanted to tell you my feelings..how much I wished that you would say those three special words to me..to me and no one else.  
  
But in reality? You would despise me and be disgusted and disappointed..  
  
If you do then I guess there is no more that I can do to make you love me but at lease I will live on..  
  
Live on knowing that I've told the special light in my life about how strongly I felt and then walk away wishing her all the happiness in the world with the special one that she truly loved.  
  
That all sounds wonderful to me right now but deep down, I know that I will not be able to handle it at all.  
  
I will not be able to bear the fact that she's in this very same world and belonged to somebody else..my life can't be the same without her.  
  
A part of me wants to take her away from Tokiya but the other part of me refuses to do that..  
  
"How selfish of you Haruka..how can you do this to Michiru?" the sane half of me asked. I hate to admit it but my conscience is right and I know that I would never be able to do this to Michiru because..  
  
She means so much to me, I've just got to see her happy if I'm not the one to bring happiness to her. I don't really know what her reactions will be when I tell her but I've got to do it as I'm already losing the most important part of me.  
  
Her reactions would mean so much whether she realizes or not..it would decide whether we'll be together for the rest of time.  
  
To be continued.  
  
  
  
AN: Did that go okay? This story is getting a lot longer than I expected..still I will keep writing and see how things unfold.. Don't worry all you Haruka/Michiru fans I won't disappoint you.. Neways..I guess I won't even need to write this as I've already bugged you guys so many times but to those that are a little slow *gomen ne* here it is again..please review and keep reading.. 


	4. Chapter 4

Bittersweet Partings.  
  
By: Icy Blossom  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Hiyaz everyone.. first of all, gomen nasai.. I won't even try to explain why this chapter is so late..so many things have happed but I guess you guys really wouldn't want to know. Neways.. I'll stop my blab so you'll all be able to get on with Chapter 4.. in case you didn't know, this chapter is written in Michiru's POV. I guess that's about it.. ja ne and please remember to review.  
  
Icy Blossom  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
You always hut the one you love.. such a cliché ne? As often as I've head it used in speech, romance novels and such, I never truly understood its meaning..  
  
That is until today.. I am always thinking of you, yet I've never really known what to think of you as.. are you my best friend? Fellow senshi?  
  
Those words seem alien to me as I repeat them in my head. Those words do not come close to describing our relationship..  
  
Relationship? That's hardly the word to use.. there is a strong bond between the two of us Haruka.. you were always there for me.. you mean more to me than just a friend.  
  
I may have taken you for granted at times.. Isn't it stupid.. I realize that I love you now, after telling you that we weren't mean to be, after hurting you so mercilessly..  
  
Now I realize that I've done two very stupid things.. deceive myself into believing that I loved Tokiya and hurting you..  
  
Haruka, I really cannot bear the thought of hurting you.. yet how can I be so heartless as to tell you that we weren't meant to be? You have no idea how much I regretted saying those words and hurting you.  
  
Coming home with Tokiya in his car after school feels so different.. and wrong.. I miss you Haruka, that might sound queer as I see you everyday but your smile and body language is so different.. your eyes no longer glitter and your smile no longer light up your beautiful face.  
  
I want to talk to you Haruka, I broke up with Tokiya today. After seeing the look that you gave me in the hallway that day, I can't seem to concentrate on anything.. that look you gave me, it breaks my heart in two.  
  
That look tears at my heart, I see it every time I close my eyes. I cannot ear or sleep knowing that you are hurting.. hurting because of me.  
  
I wanted to tell you about my feelings today.. I'd planned the entire speech but I guess it's too late as you've probably decided to keep you distance.  
  
I know that you wouldn't hate me because we'll never be able to hate each other but I wouldn't be able to bear it if I never shared the same precious moments with you again.  
  
Haruka.. I've just realized something..  
  
I've finally awakened from my illusion, you are the one I love, the only one that I'll ever be able to love and share my memories with..  
  
I'm sitting here on the couch waiting for you to return Haruka, I'm waiting to see you and to apologise for all the pain that I've caused you.  
  
Please come back soon, it is unbearable.. sitting here and reading my own painful book of revelations.  
  
I await your return and I will not be give up until you know the deep secrets in my heart.  
  
To be continued.  
  
AN: That's all for Chapter 4 mina.. I hoped that you enjoyed, sorry that it wasn't very long. I promise that I will try to update ASAP this time but please give me some encouragement to continue and review. ja ne.. 


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